The only problem I have with The Pig Hotel is that their £300 starting rate doesn’t even throw in breakfast so you’ll need to leave the bartering for other holidays and open the wallet. At least safe in the knowledge you can go to town on the ‘larder’ snacks in your room.
Send him to the riverbank to fish whilst you head for a spa treatment in the Potting Shed. With everything sourced from within 25 miles, you can even go interactive with your food checking the state of the chickens before you arrive. Unsurprisingly the menu is piggy heavy but there are plenty of seasonal, local salads to choose from as well.
With the feel of an Adults Only hotel in the New Forest there’s no guarantee of lacking screaming kids. But they go out of their way to accommodate the little terrors arranging a nanny service (4 hours’ minimum) with a week’s notice, a child-friendly menu and tonnes of activities from local foraging to fly fishing to keep them busy if they’re a little older. Think of it as a grown-up weekend but the kids are welcome to join too.